Being a man-child isn’t just about being an immature adult male—there’s much more to it than that. If you’re in a relationship with someone whose actions don’t coincide with their actual age, then your relationship will most likely get increasingly difficult as time goes on.
It’s not easy dealing with a man-child, but you don’t have much of a choice as long as you’re in a relationship with him. It’s either you separate or he changes somehow. If you want to make an effort and attempt the latter, here are some tips you can try out to help you deal with a man-child.
What Is a Man-Child?
Before diving in, we must first discuss what a man-child is and how to recognize one. Most of the time, men who don’t think and act like their age were usually overly nurtured and pampered when they were growing up. Their parents pampered them so much that they didn’t grow up experiencing the same things and situations that normal children would. Most especially, these children don’t know what it’s like to be held accountable for their mistakes.
Growing up, man-childs most likely had parents who would angrily reprimand teachers without knowing the full story, and they’d blame other children for the actions of their own child and would refuse to believe that he’s in the wrong—you get the drill. As you can imagine, teaching a child that they’re never at fault or that they don’t have to do any household chores can significantly affect they grow up mentally.
It’s understandable that a parent would want to protect their kid, but sometimes, some parents just take things a bit too far—and thus, man-childs are created.
How To Deal With a Man Child
1. Don’t Make Excuses for Him
If you find yourself making excuses for your man-child partner, then you need to catch yourself and stop right away. Things just won’t end well if you do this, and you’ll just be taken advantage of. Making excuses will also only make him feel like his behavior is legitimized, and you’ll end up swallowing your own feelings. None of this is healthy, and you need to listen to your head—not your heart.
2. Be As Independent as You Can Be
Just do your own thing and rely on yourself. You could become a role model for your partner in teaching him how to act and be responsible enough to do his own thing, too.
3. Slowly Change His Behavior
Now, keep in mind that we can never really change people unless they want to change themselves, but we can do small things that can lead to this change. It can be a challenge for sure, so don’t be disheartened. For one thing, you can try changing how your household is set up to promote positive habits. You could try, for instance, placing your hamper near the top of the stairs. Then, try asking him to bring down the hamper the next time he passes through the stairs. In fact, you should place the hamper right in the middle of the path so that he has no choice but to pick it up in order to cross.
Don’t get your hopes too high, but keep your fingers crossed.
4. Don’t Act as His Mother
This can pose a bit of a challenge, especially to those women who have a tendency to “rescue” their partners—or people in general. Don’t do things for him, especially those errands he promised other people he’d do. He needs to be held accountable for the situations he puts himself in.
5. Be Realistic About Why You’re With Him in the First Place
Needless to say that having a man-child for a partner won’t end well if you’re looking for something more long-term. Eventually, you’ll get tired of having to be the only responsible adult in the relationship. Really think about why you’re with this guy in the first place: are you only in it for the companionship, for the laughs, or for other factors? Be honest with yourself. You won’t be able to make the man-child change into an adult by marrying him or by bearing his children.
Even if you get angry, this won’t make him change for the better because he won’t really be able to provide you what you need nor does he know how to. If you do choose to stay in the relationship, then you may have to accept him as he is or practice some tough love.
It won’t be easy dealing with a man-child, and you might even have to ask guidance from professionals if you really want to stay with him, but you can start with these 5 tips. Of course, the first step is to recognize that you’re in a relationship with a man-child, and you can take it from there.