Iwe ungangodaro wakanzwa chirevo chekare “Mudzimai anofara, hupenyu hunofadza” zvisati zvaitika, uye pamwe iwe wakangozvirasa sezano rekare. Nekudaro, zvinoita sekunge kune chimwe chokwadi kune iyi maxim mushure mezvose. Sezvineiwo, kunyangwe kana murume ari chikamu chemuchato usina mufaro, hupenyu hwavo hungangodaro uchifara kazhinji hwakazara, chero bedzi vakadzi vavo vachifara, futi.
A kudzidza inoitiswa naRutgers University Prof. Deborah Carr, iyo yakazoburitswa mu Zvinyorwa zveMbairo neMhuri, akawana kuti mufaro wevakaroora wavanosangana nawo unotsamira zvakanyanya pane kuti mudzimai anofara here. Mune mamwe mazwi, kana mudzimai achisiririsa, saka murume-uye nehukama hwacho pachahwo-hunogona kusuwawo.
"Mufaro wemukadzi muwanano une simba rekukunda kusagadzikana kwemurume muwanano kuti hupenyu hwake hwese hunakidze," Carr akaudza Huffington Post. Carr pamwe nemunyori pamwe naye kubva kuYunivhesiti yeMichigan, Prof. Vicki Freedman, vakaongorora data (zvinyorwa zvezuva nezuva zve diary) pavanhu vaviri makumi mana nevapfumbamwe (394) - vese vari vaviri vaive nemakore makumi mashanu ekuberekwa, mumwe aine makore makumi matanhatu ekuberekwa kana asiri mukuru. Vaviri ava vakasanganisirwa muchidzidzo vaive vakaroora kwemakore makumi matatu nemana paavhareji.
Mune zvinyorwa zvavo zvemadhayari, vaviri vacho vaifanira kuyera kugutsikana kwavo muwanano kubva pa1 kusvika pa4. Hezvino izvo zvavakawana: varume vasina kugutsikana nemuchato wavo (vanozviisa pa1) asi vaive nemadzimai akayera muchato 4 vakararama vachifara anorarama zvachose. Zvisineyi, avo varume vaipa muchato a 1 asi vaive nemadzimai aivharawo a1 vairatidza kusafara uye pazere vaive nehupenyu hwakanaka.
Kune rimwe divi, chidzidzo ichi chakaburitsa pachena kuti hachina kukanganisa madzimai kuti varume vavo vagutsikane nemichato yavo here. Carr akatsanangura kuti sei zvakadaro - kana mudzimai achifara, kunyangwe murume asiri, pane mukana wepamusoro wekuti achapa murume mabhenefiti ayo achaita kuti hupenyu hwake huve nani zvachose. Semuenzaniso, anogona kuita mabasa epamba, kuve fudzi rekutsamira, kupa rutsigiro rwepfungwa, uye kuita zvinhu zvinopa chiitiko chakanaka kumurume.
Zvino, chikonzero nei kusafara kwemurume kana kugutsikana muwanano zvisina kukanganisa madzimai imhaka yekuti vakadzi vanobva muboka rakaongororwa havana kana ruzivo rwekuti varume vavo vaifara kana kusafara newanano yavo. Izvi zvese zvinokonzerwa nekuti varume havana kudzidziswa kutaura nezve izvo zvavainzwa, kungave kwakanaka kana kufara manzwiro. Zvaive zvakajairika kwavari kuti varege kungotaura chinhu uye kupomhodza pamusoro pekusafara kwavo. Carr anoti kana mudzimai asina kugutsikana nemuchato wake, angangoita chimwe chinhu nezvazvo, uye achave nechokwadi chekuti kusagutsikana kwake kunozivikanwa. “Anogona kunyunyuta; angave asinganyanyi kuuya nerudo uye nerutsigiro. ”
Musiyano wechikadzi unotamba chikamu chekuti sei vakadzi vane tsika yekusagutsikana kana kusagutsikana nemuchato wavo.
Mukudzidza kwaCarr, akaona kuti varume vacho vaiwanzo kupa huwandu hwekugutsikana muwanano kupfuura vakadzi. Chidzidzo kubva kune vekare vaongorori pamberi pake akawanawo kuwanikwa kumwechete. Pane tsananguro inonzwisisika yeizvi, zvakadaro. Sekureva kwaCarr, vakadzi vanonyanya kufambidzana kuongorora uye kuongorora hukama hwavo zvichienzaniswa nevarume. Nekudaro, kune chimwezve chikonzero chinogoneka cheizvi. Kazhinji yenguva, roorano yemunhu inofadza nekuda kwezvinhu zvese izvo mukadzi ari kuita, sekupa rudo nerutsigiro, pakati pezvimwe zvinhu zvakawanda. Mune ino kesi, murume anogamuchira zvimwe.
Kwechizvarwa chakatariswa, vakadzi vaizoita yakawanda yemabasa epamba uye mamwe mabasa epamba, sekugadzira chikafu. Kana mumwe wako achirwara, mufaro wemukadzi chete ndiwo unokanganiswa, nepo hupenyu hwemurume hwekugutsikana husina kukanganiswa zvachose. Izvi zvinodaro nekuti kana varume vachirwara, vakadzi vane tsika yekuva anovachengeta uye vaizoita zvese zvavanogona kune vavakaroorana navo. Kana mudzimai akarwara, zvakadaro, varume vaiwanzorega shamwari kana vana vavo vachichengeta vakadzi vavo pachinzvimbo.
Zvichipa ruzivo urwu, zviri pachena kuona kuti tichienzanisa varume nemadzimai, varume vanogashira zvakawanda maererano nerutsigiro rwemumwe. Nekudaro, tsvagiridzo inotaura izvozvo kuroora kwakanakira hutano hwevarume zvine musoro, asi izvi, zvinosuwisa, hazvireve hazvo nyaya yevakadzi.
Kutaurirana kwakakosha.
Izvi zvinoshanda kune hukama hwese - zvakakosha kuti utaure manzwiro ako pachena uye zvakajeka. Zvinogona kunge zvakaoma kuita, uye zvinogona kutokonzeresa marwadzo, asi vakaroorana vanofanirwa kutaura kune mumwe nemumwe kana vachida kuve papeji imwechete voita kuti muchato (kana hukama) ushande.
Ehezve, roorano haisi nhema uye chena, uye kune zvakawanda zvinhu zvekufunga nezvekuti hukama hwacho hwakakodzera kugara. Nekudaro, kana iwe nemumwe wako muchidzidzira kutaurirana pachena, pane mukana wakakura kwazvo wekuti muchato ugone kuponeswa.
